Preserve us, O Lord, from all sickness and blight,
From guilty confusion of wrong and of right,
From cowardice, avarice, envy, or - worse,
From ague of checkbook and palsy of purse,
And men who get brutal, and girls who get tight.

Ay, from home-hating husbands, from wives who delight
To stay-up and talk till all hours of the night,
And impudent brats with their skill to coerce,
Preserve us, O Lord.

From age become bitter, and youth impolite,
From lips that won't fondle, and fish that won't bite,
From bores, busybodies and fools, and the curse
Of seemingly premature ride in a hearse;
From, in brief, all annoyance and every ill plight,
        Preserve us, 0 Lord.